Another major challenge that I'm facing at this point in my schooling is the fact that I'm a part time student attending a program designed for full time participation. I'm grateful for how the professors and advisers have worked with my busy schedule, they've definitely been more flexible than I'm sure they anticipated they'd have to be. But for all the efforts they've put in, there's only so much they can do.
Recently I've run into quite a conflict because of this. It was a conflict that taxed my own energies and patience, as well as patience and energy of those involved. I won't go into it, but it's been a major source of anxiety and difficulty in my experience at the U. It feels like it's going to have ramifications for the rest of my schooling, and I worry that the managing of those dynamics are going to put additional stress on the remainder of my time at the U. This has also affected the experience I thought I would be getting at the U.
Lastly, one of the major obstacles I'm facing right now is burn out. For two years I've been juggling full time work, a second job of teaching at the Art Institute, attending classes and doing homework at the U, as well as personal family and church responsibilities, including a new born baby. In the last 2 years, I've also experienced 9 months of crunch time where I've put in anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week of work. As I head into the 3rd year of this program, and I look at a schedule and a situation that doesn't appear to be changing, and I face down a semester that will probably be one of the more difficult semesters, it's safe to say, it's a little bit daunting, and I worry about having the necessary energy to fulfill my responsibilities.
The question then becomes one that we're all familiar with. How to go on, even in the face of mounting and seemingly overwhelming obstacles. I understand that these obstacles seem trivial compared to other obstacles out there. This isn't Mount Everest, it's not cancer, and it's not the death of a loved one. It's important to keep that in perspective. In fact, it's probably a good idea to spend a little bit of time each day recognizing and being grateful for the things that are going right in my life. Recently Dieter F. Uchtdorf said of gratitude:
"Have we not reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves?"
I'm usually not one that does a good job at being grateful. The times that I've focused on it in my life, however, has really helped me. It's helped change my attitude and put things in their proper perspective. It's made me a little more able to tackle the things in front of me, and it's helped me get out of myself a little bit, and focus on the concerns and needs of others.
There's probably a long list of things I can do to overcome the obstacles I'm facing right now. There's probably some things I can do to revitalize myself and generate the energy to get through this next year (hopefully it includes paddle boarding, the ocean, and surfing.) While I'll need to do some hard work to figure these things out, I think what I need to start with, the thing I need to put at the top of my list, is gratitude. If I can start with that, I have a feeling that the other things will work themselves out. Past experience teaches that in overcoming obstacles, if we can put the proverbial one foot in front of the other, committed to the journey as well as the destination, then whatever is necessary to overcome our obstacles will eventually come to us in time.
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